Premature Aging by Mail

Jesus Christ… ok so… I’m named after my father. His name is Alan. He’s 70. And we currently live in the same house. Apparently, despite the fact that MVP provides my insurance and therefore has my SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER and obviously my AGE on fucking record… AND the fact that I am the opposite gender…The […]

I’m so sorry you’re not a nerd

A friend of mine posted this meme on FaceBook….. The following is what ended up happening in the comments section of that post: Me: I’m….I’m not understanding….is that..NOT….part of living your life to the fullest?? ….did…i miss a memo or something? Friend: I guess some people think that living one’s life to the fullest is […]

Muse..ick

Hmm …. Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer”? Heh…jk…kinda…. There’s a bunch that fit, life isn’t constant, situations change, PEOPLE change, why wouldn’t the song change, too? If I have to pick ONE….Imma go with Reba by Phish..yeah….go ahead and try to figure out THAT correlation….

Truths

99.9 percent of the benefit of an immense vocabulary is the ability to insult a person so thoroughly they need to use a dictionary to figure out how pissed they should be.