Future E-books… (comment if you’d buy one and I’ll totally notify you when they become available…. #shamelessselfpromotion )

So….. I’m not well versed in alcohol….at least not in the ‘this bottle you might purchase by this brand name is this type of spirit with these favors and qualities ” kind of way….. But as time goes by I’ve become well versed in a large variety of different beverages which fall under any (to all) of the following 3 categories:

1-Cocktails that will be relatively easy to finish without vomiting and/or spitting in a decidedly unattractive way while in a public place….regardless of whether you can afford top shelf or bathtub distillery level booze….

2-What is and isn’t ok ya to use as a mixer when you want more to drink but you can’t drive, but your INTENDED mixer didn’t last as long as you’d thought it would, or any similar emergency: aka, resources for making cheap booze taste acceptable (or better!) that you probably already have in your house!(includes quick start glossary of pass/fail combinations with 1 to 5 star ratings)

3-Things you should never ever ever combine with alcohol unless your VERY SURE being drunk will be worth spending several minutes to hours legitimately wishing you were dead. ( bonus at-a-glance intensity chart based a 10 toilet ascending scale AS A FREE GIFT!!!!)

Sadly, but perhaps fortunately for YOU…. I’ve just, yet again, expanded the knowledge in that LAST area….

Please for the love of God, if you ever manage to be desperate enough to consider mixing cran-raspberry juice…..with cheap orange cream vodka….. Please at least only mix a very small scale sample…. Otherwise you’ll end up wasting alcohol, and you probably cant afford that if you’re willing to try this combo…. Everyone’s different, but I really don’t think battery acid mixed with the half chemical/half farm grown sweetness most often associated with ten for a dollar car air fresheners from the clearance section of a ghetto Asian grocery……is gonna end up drawing a lot of fans…..just sayin….

You’re welcome.

PS- I’m editing to add: I should totally turn those categories into reference books and sell them as e books….. You know some of you would buy them. Don’t lie.


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