Friend: My cat is weird
Me: So….youre saying….you have a cat. …
Friend: When she gets in my lap in my armchair she always has to get up on the left arm, jump to the back, walk across, jump down to the right arm, and then step into my lap
Me: Ok….yeah….sounds cat like…
There is a proccess to these things, dont you know???
Like Fuzzball… i cant ever just pet her
First i must call to her, and then wait until she deigns to acknowledge me
Then i must extend my hand near her face, but no closer than five inches from her face
And i must be very still until she decides to sniff my hand. I must NOT MOVE during said sniffing.
When she has THOROUGHLY FINISHED inspecting my hand, she will press her head against my fingers
Then and ONLY THEN may i commense to pet her head and ONLY HER HEAD
Any violation of this proceedure will resort in complete abortion of all possible petting, and possibly incite biting.
Me: Such is life with cats
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