We Have No Knobs On Our Stove

We have no knobs on our stove.

I was recently talking to a friend of mine about her sons breaking her tv while rough-housing…
if my tv broke it would be the dogs….
and it wouldnt even suprise me
they destroy shit here all the time

i cant have nice things

we cant even have knobs on our god damn stove
because one day we came home and they had turned the gas on on one of the burners
we coulda not noticed and lit a fucking ciggerette and BOOM double funeral, with doggie companion coffins

My friend says i could probably get a discount on coffins if it was a package deal….
you know like half off

not me, of course, cuz id be dead
But at least my family would save money.
anyway…. the dogs destroy everything.

They’ve eaten my boyfriend’s slippers,

The camera for his playstation 3,

the cord on my electric blanket.

they break glasses and coffee mugs and plates all the time.

they chewed WRAPPED christmas presents before they could even be given.
They’ve torn holes in the upholstery of our living room furniture.

I buy them toys but they just destroy them to the point that they arent even chewable anymore.

my dad says i should just not leave things around.
but even when we pick up everything we can think of that they might ruin, they find something we missed.
its impossible to truly dog proof a house unless you dont keep anything IN it.

they’ve opened boxes of rice and the container of salt and we’ve come home to find our living room carpet looks suprisingly white.

We cant have nice things
We’ve lost so much
because we have dogs.
We can’t even have knobs on our stove.

but I wouldnt give them up for the world.


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