Why I’m Not Christian

Friend: maybe you should discuss the first time you posed a question that no one really wanted to answer, whether it was to your parents or a teacher.

Me:hmm….thats …interesting
i have to thinka bout what that was
two things come to mind, and one of them is, oddly enough, why im not christian
my mom is what I call “a recovering catholic”, so im not sure why, but for some reason when i was a baby she had this idea in her head that i should be raised in the church
so up until I was ten or so i wen to all the church stuff, sunday school, vacation bible school, was a part of the nativity play they put on, sang in childrens chior, all that good stuff
but then when i was about ten, i started to question thing, and there were some things in the bible that didnt quite make sense to me.
and our reverand was a very nice man who i felt i could really talk to
so i asked him about some of those things
and i dont remeber anymore what the question was
but i asked something to which he replied “honestly dear, i can’t answer that. sometimes god just does things for reasons we cant understand”
and that BOTHERED me
so i learned about other religions, and studied alot, and found somethin g that makes sense to ME
and so i am not christian.

Friend:well that situation sounds more like a problem with the pastor as he probably believed that getting into a theological discussion with someone of your age would be a waste of his time and effort and opted for a damaging catch all response

Me: nope dont think so
i think he was being honest, because i asked him a BUNCH of questions before that all of which he answered
thats why i liked him so much, he talked to me like an adult
i was very weird about that when i was a kid
i wanted to be treated as an adult
i did not want to be thought of as “cute” and laughed at
i used to get really mad when people laughed at me
and then they’d laugh more.
alot of my anxiety issues stem from that, but im not sure why i felt that way in the first place

Friend:well i wouldn’t be able to appropriately comment on the situation then unless you remembered the question you posed lol. Not that my commentary or opinion were something you were seeking so much as you were just siting an old incident

Me:yes but i would be interested
it was probably something awful like “why does god let babies die”
and i know the various philosphies regaurding that now
but the only one i can ACCEPT is the one he gave me
the others i find appauling

Friend:what did he tell you then?
Me:that he didnt know, and that sometimes god has reasons we cant understand

Friend:Aye there is that, but there are also sometimes the unseen and less discussed reasons. whether the parents were partially at fault through activities such as alcohol or substance abuse. Overall however those children were not accountable and are in heaven, they may have only been intended to teach an important lesson to those lives they touched. They are in my opinion far better off than we who have to take responsibility for our actions and decisions.

Me:i dont agree with that, but i understand what you’re saying
that, btw, is WHY my mom is a recovering catholic, they told her her baby was going to purgatory because she hadnt been baptised yet. Her baby died of sids.

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