Poetic Prose

uggghhhh there needs to magically be more juice in my cup
i miss my fuckin brother man
damnit
it hits me at the weirdest most inopportune times
you ever been too stoned to cry?

i think this is about to turn into a poem…yeah..it is
aww man…its getting to that point in the night when even the night owls go to bed
i hate that

yeah im sittin here at my table with a beer watching these dummies try and choose a drinking game.
whatever one they pin down, they keep flip flopping

its like…1-3 a.m. there might be one or two people online still…then 4-6 theres NO ONE….if you’re really lucky you might get a new mom whose baby woke her up and she cant go back to bed because she hasnt yet learned the Mom Art of falling back to sleep instantaneously….. or someone in another time zone, if you know anyone there… but thats it

amazing love this song larry and i danced for you to this
together

aww
larry was a terrible dancer
thats so cute
its the loneliest time of night, if you’re an all nighter, ya know, the truly nocturnal?

i had wrote you the week previous i remember cause that night he asked if i got a letter back yet

this is part of why you mean so much to me, apart from being a great friend
not the partier who stays out til the bars close and then crashes
not the 30 something who trys to stay up til 3 or 4 just to show they’re still young enough to do it…
not the mother whos up waiting for her stupid partier child to come in so that she can stop thinking about calling the nearest hospitals, because she was young once too…

Not the frazzled work-a-holic who could get 5 hours of solid sleep if he could just fall asleep RIGHT now…..

because you can give me new memories of my brother
i cant create new memories with him, but when i share the memories of others, its like i get a little of him back

larry and i had the best friendship
he would tell me your good to me no one else is, i miss my sister wish she was here with us. i said “She is”. hed say “but shes not. ”  And i said “larry she’ll be back” and hug him. i missed him alot after he moved

stupid cousins and their not being brothers!!!
fuckers!
But the ones who sleep when the sun is up, and only truly feel alive in the dark.
The ones who have to go to the pharmacy at 8 a.m. when it opens, just before they go to bed…

youre gonna go to bed on me arent you….. i predict it

no im playing asshole
i just want the beer

im thinkin about smoking a bowl but its like, the last ive got
ive been smoking more often cuz it helps me write
still not every day, but, ya know, more than i was

Addendum: My brother, Larry( who is the only person whose name I WILL use in my blog, because I know he would want it that way) committed suicide on March 25th, 2010. The above piece is retelling of a conversation with a dear friend who knew him well. There may be other meaning here but I leave that for you to decideIf this poem is too confusing for you, let me know, and i can separate it into the two separate conversations that its made up of… I just liked it a bit jumbled, a bit confused, it suited my emotions at the time.

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