originally written: just now in conversation

Friend: I’m going to go [to Russia] one day.
Me: i’m not. fuck that shit, its too cold.
Me: i do think the language is sexy though
Friend: I ran into three super huge drunk Russian dudes in a Wegmans at one in the morning once. If I thought I could take them on, I’d have three Russian dudes in my basement still…Kidding, mostly. I’d be a lousy captor. I cant even keep house plants alive.
Me: to be honest, i actually think Russian WOMEN are sexier than Russian MEN…. my mental image of a Russian man is from the Ricola commercial where they’re in the sauna
Friend: Ricola is Swiss.
Me: i know but…was it halls? yeah it was Halls…the Halls commercial….remember? with the big burly russians in the sauna and the one little tiny american dude, and they go “BREATH….BREATH MY TASTEY FRIEND”….anybody?
Friend: Hahahahahahaha…….. you’re right.
Me: see, now you see my mental picture…. not my type of dude.
Friend: These guys were definitely NOT sauna Russian
Me: ok good

Addendum: For those who don’t know Wegmans is the name of a chain of grocery stores that are mostly based in New York State, and they are the best. Its like the Disney World of food. Their website is here

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