Antiques Mall: Part 4, WTF?

Welcome to Part 4 of my Antiques Mall Adventure…. for those who haven’t read the prior parts, I’ll start with this:

Lately my boyfriend and I are on a budget, so we spend an awful lot of time cooped up in the house watching TV and playing video games….but there’s only so much of that you can handle before you just need to GO SOMEWHERE. We try to find places we can go and do things that are cheep, or better yet, free. One of my personal favorite places to go is a HUGE Antiques Mall that is fairly close by. They have HUNDREDS of vendors selling out of one big building, and you NEVER know what you might find there. Even if you’re broke just window shopping in this store can be fascinating. And to make it even better they have free coffee, water, and animal crackers for patrons (but its always nice to leave a tip in the tip jar).

If you live in upstate NY and want to check them out their website is here

Anyway, we were desperately bored yesterday, and I hadn’t yet introduced my boyfriend to the joys of the antiques mall, so we got in the car and headed over.

If you’re going to check it out I DEFINITELY recommend going on a weekday if at all possible…the place tends to be pretty empty during the week, and you will find that the employees are alot less rushed and alot more willing to let you take stuff out of locked cases and look at it, try it on, play with it, etc. If you absolutely HAVE to go on the weekend or a holiday, be prepared for the check out line to be pretty long, and to have to wait a while for assistance. I’ve gone on busy days many times and I dont really mind, but if you’re an impatient person this might not be for you.

Ok, review part over, now for the FUN stuff.

I’m splitting this entry into section because its going to be very graphics heavy and long. Hopefully I’ll keep it interesting enough that you’ll stick around and read all the parts, but feel free to skim.

This section showcases one of my FAVORITE things about Antiques in general: Weird shit.

So far we’ve seen scary antiques and cool antiques… but the best finds….the very best…are the ones that make you go “….huh?”

Here are some of my favorites from our recent trip:


This is an elephant foot. A real one. From an elephant. I don’t even know what to say about that.


Yeah I have no idea…. anthropomorphized bird hooker….


Ok this one was obviously made back in the days when it was “ok” to be racist…. but dude, seriously with the googly eyes??10430484_1536913696593700_7818973541519125052_n

Yeah….think they are supposed to be…vegetables…peppers maybe… with…weird…mutated children’s faces on them…


I think he’s supposed to be a snow man…. But something went really wrong..10882376_1536913736593696_7704703919482285947_n

The tag on this one said “carved animal”….I got nothin.


I usually really like old valentines, my mom collects them so i’ve seen alot… but i’m not exactly sure what this one says about the person giving it…


EEK!! ok I think MAYBE its supposed to be a lion, although there are a couple other possibilities… The weirdest part of it that its a pipe of some sort. the top of the head is the bowl, and the part that extends into my hand is the stem. I hope its meant to smoke tobacco out of, because I would NOT want to have that around if I was high.


*giggle*…*snort*…. ok i’m a child, but dude, read the tag!


This has to be the UGLIEST Mickey Mouse I’ve ever seen. I don’t even know… I just cant.10923528_1536914839926919_2342942728020631773_n

Inappropriate random Batman in the middle of a Cherish Teddies display. Because He’s fucking BATMAN, thats why!10923834_1536915166593553_5672244595862091348_n

If a Chinese dragon and an elephant had a love child what would it look like? Now you know…10929017_1536914206593649_6327358486619333684_n

This elephant is TOTALLY trying to over compensate for something.


ah yes, the German-Girl-Smoking-Cigar wine bottle….what every collector needs!


And incase you have trouble with the cork, you can always pull out your handy dandy pig butt corkscrew!!

I just love walking into an antique shop and seeing something that breaks my brain.

It makes my day.

Well, that’s it for THIS Antiques Mall Adventure, I hope you had as much fun as we did, and stay tuned for more crazy,weird,cool,and scary antiques in the future!


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